Millvale!!!

I love Millvale so much I lose control of my eyelids!


When AlphaMale and AlphaFemale take me there I run and run and run. Sometimes I jump. And then I run. And then I smell. And then I chase little animals through the woods. In the snowy times AM and AF wear these big flat noisy things on their feet and it makes them really slow and goofy looking---and they think I look silly in my pooty-booties! Here's some of my favourite things to do at Millvale...

JUMPING


RUNNING


DIGGING


At Millvale I'm always having to stop and wait for AlphaFemale because she likes to take pictures like this:


It's trees and snow and sunlight. What's the big deal? Of course AlphaMale is just as bad. Here's an old rusty stove he thought was important (I didn't even pee on it):


I mean, come on you guys...


...there's jumping to do!

Hi Guys!

I've got all sorts of news, but for now, I just wanted to give you a sniff to see if you were still out there.

Yup, still there. Okay, I'll go check out the park, see if I can break into the garbage, and snack on some stray bunny poo, and then I'll share with you some of the news of the last few months.

Bad haircut

Every summer AlphaMale and AlphaFemale let some stranger hack at me with a noisy razor. Invariably the stranger makes me stand on a wobbly table, in a room full of other dogs shouting "Let me out of this pen so that I may romp!" The stranger then proceeds to poke me with the razor in all the places I don't want to be poked, and I lose all my hair. Then the stranger brushes me, which I kind of like, but then the worst part happens: the stranger clips my nails! Oh, I really really really hate this part, and I try to tell the stranger this, but they never listen. If the stranger is really clumsy sometimes I try to jump off the table, but then AlphaMale comes along and holds me in place and I just have to put up with it. When I'm on the stranger's table, getting poked, pulled and prodded, sometimes I wonder if AlphaMale and AlphaFemale really love me.

After I get the heck away from the stranger's torture chamber, I feel better. With my hair short I feel cooler, more wriggly, and I can run even faster. AlphaMale and AlphaFemale usually laugh at me and tell me I look funny. You can judge for yourself:




This was how I looked a few summers ago. Everyone thought the stranger did a good job that time, even if I looked like an elf.

But this summer's stranger with a razor didn't do such a good job. I spent the whole day in the stranger's room, with lots of shouty dogs, and I really hated it. The stranger wasn't very gentle, the dogs kept shouting things like "I tire of the smell of my own feces; free me from this hell!" and I got so upset I jumped off the table twice. When AlphaFemale came to pick me up I ran away from the stranger as fast as I could. AlphaFemale was so shocked that she took me home right away, without really looking at the state of my hair. And it was a bad state:




I look like a street dog, with mange, on a bad hair day. I've never felt so un-pretty in my whole life. People even stopped me in the park to ask if I was diseased or if AlphaMale or AlphaFemale had cut my hair themselves, using a broken weed-whacker with their eyes closed.



I looked like this for a week, until AlphaMale took me back to the stranger's place and made the stranger fix the job. This time he stayed with me, and I didn't like the whole process any more, but I came out looking a little more presentable. I even wagged my skinny tail a bit, after keeping it between my legs in shame for a whole week. Look out dog park, here comes skinny Bobo!

Bobo in the Great Outdoors

Last week AlphaMale took me camping at a place called Blomidon. It was fun because there was lots of little squirrels and birds that were scared of me. But there was so many bushes it was hard for me to pee on all of them. AlphaMale kept making fires, which were smoky and noisy and I didn't like them. He held these funny pieces of meat on a stick over the fire, and then he ate them. I tried a couple, and they tasted kind of like my dog food; not bad, AlphaMale!


One afternoon AlphaMale took me to a place called Ross Farm. This is a place where a whole bunch of animals keep a few people as pets. I got to meet lots of the animals. Here are some of them:

I liked this guy a lot because he was about the same size as me. But I kind of wanted to eat him, too. I tried to tell him to go stand over there with his friends so I could keep an eye on all of them, but he wouldn't listen. I don't think he was very smart. He had rectangles in his eyes.



This lady liked AlphaMale a lot.


But then she tried to eat my leash.


So I shouted "No! No! No!" and then she got mad and banged her head against the fence.


These guys pull a car around the place. I don't know why they can't just use a normal car like the one I ride in. It would be way less bumpy, and faster.


I didn't even need to stick my nose in their butts to smell them.


Then AlphaMale made me stay for a picture with this guy, when all I wanted to do was get off the car and go roll in one of the poos the BigBums left in the road.

Later that day we went to the beach. It was awesome. The water was out really far so everything was wet and muddy and stinky.

First I ran over here.


Then I ran over there.


And then over here.


And then I ran at AlphaMale and I jumped on him! Happy happy happy!

Here's another good thing about the beach: it tastes great!

I ate so much seaweed. It tastes even better than grass. But then I started to wheeze.

I was so tired from the farm and the beach that I went right to sleep when we got back to the campsite. One of the funny things about camping is that AlphaMale sleeps in this strange floppy kennel for some reason. Best part, though, is that he let me sleep in it, too! I'm part of the pack, I'm part of the pack!


Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that this Blomidon place is on top of a mountain. So it was foggy and cold in the morning and I had to curl up and cover myself with my tail to stay warm. But in the afternoon you could see for miles.

I think I could smell Ontario from here. I miss Mavis.